Mogok

extract from my Starbucks Planner
21 April 2010
Wenesday 1.50pm

Dear Planner,

I need to vent. I am sitting here at my own workstation.. on STRIKE! Yes, you heard me alright, on strike with an army of, well, just me! I don't want to do my work though I have tons of it pilling up and I am just staring my computer.. Whenever anyone walks by "LLB" mode (fyi, its short for Look Like Busy) How sad is that when you come to this point in your career?

Let's see.. how did it come to this?

1. Definitely the stripping me of all my fb, chatting, shopping online, blogging privileges and cetera.. MY Laptop, I meant the COMPANY's laptop I am using was instructed to be hooked up to the server. Which mean the beginning of all site being filtered and no administrative power.. i feel, sniff.. i feel like I've been amputated!!
2. Also definitely the "do not use company's time to do your personal thing" comment on my appraisal. FUCK you man, how about the times when YOU go home after lunch to shower and come back? How about the times YOU go to the market and back during office hours and start parading all your fresh meat, fresh vege.. fresh whatever shitla.. UGH so sick.. yes I am resentful but all because of you being to hypocritical.
3. Ahh.. and the trying to be mutual attitude, the angelic face everybody sees but behind it all its a control BITCH that no one sees.. yes the Queen of Heart.. OMG get me outta here! If things don't go your way, just shove them down their throats..

As the days goes by, the more I feel like packing up and leave. Well I guess that's me. I tried to think the best of things, tried to look at the brighter side, tried to be positive.. but at the end of the day when it hits me, its already up to my head.. who am I trying to fool? I feel like puking everyday but everyday I have to hold it in or just swallow it :(

Dear God,

You know what is best for me. I do know that this is not what's best for me cause I am not happy. Well, so I think I know me. But please.. something better to come my way. Oh ya, A.S.A.P. Thank you.

forgotten how disappointment felt..

and its more than any heart could take..

yes we shall drink and smoke till it all goes away..

till it fades into a distant memory..

then forgotten..

and life still goes on..

~*~

tit-le-less

i just tot that that was funny... titless which i meant title less...

ok i am aware that its not funny anymore when you spell out the joke...

so, since my close friends has left and desserted me.. i told them to keep their blog updated so that i can still be part of their lives.. but in a different way i.e. reading about it and seeing pics... so its only fair that i did my part on updating my blog too... so here a start after such a long time.. heee..

hmmm... so lets see... friday night... mmmm nothing much since i can't really remember what the hell did i do... oh ya, i cooked dinner stayed home and watched Ghost Town... now everytime i neeze i think that a spirit in walking through me!!! saturday i spent the whole morning at Old Town PJ looking for lil glass jars as my wedding favors... couldn't find anything but instead, spent 120 bucks on utter nonsense..

i bought..

1. one tall glass jar

2. one fat glass jar

3. 2 small glass jars for my salt and sugar

4. another 2 glass jars for i have no idea what.. it is just very pretty, i guess just for show then

5. one "kopi" style teapot for flowers (been eyeing on it, pretty?)

6. one microwave cover
7. one stainless steel pot with lid to boil eggs

then, i went all the way to kota damansara to jeek's tailor to sew my cheongsam.. hehe excited.. even the sketching looks nice :) ok, a bit too much but hey... which bride to be isn't? as Miss Tailor was taking my measurements i was hmmm.. a lil embarassed.. one i had sweaty umpits and she was measuring my chest, yes i apologised for it.. and two i told her that i was wearing like super padded bra la just to make sure that when the end product is ready, it won't be loose at that area... humph!! but luckily i told her that and she said she will sew paddings for me.. and yes i DO need them.. no looking like i haven't hit puberty ok..

Sunday was Easter Sunday and a family day for me.. went to the Curve with ter, mum and dad cause parents wanted to get new mattresses for my old room... just because my eldest sister will be coming down from the states in Sept for the wedding.. outright favoritism i tell you.. what happen to when I was there and I needed a new mattress too??!!

Mum wanted a new fridge.. a side by side, just like mine.. we ended up at Harvey Norman looking at not just fridges but everything else.. we were looking at dish washers just for fun.. its so cool to own one.. please if you are planning to buy me a present but don't know what to buy, a dishwasher would be it :D Thanks! I will remember and love you forever!

At night we had dinner at home.. and watched Bodyguards & Assassins.. and slept early... intresting or no? domesticated huh... tell me about it... makes me wonder how would i be in a couple of years time..