Dammit :)

I love Blink =) listening to their songs really gets me jumping..

I was suppose to go to Seremban today for All Souls Day, but I managed to escape the travelling.. phew.. My excuse was that I had to study and I had been a good girl I did study.. while doing my nails.. kekeke.. Everytime when I have to force myself to study, I think to myself "why the hell am I doing this?!" I don't even want to do auditing or accounting or anything to do with numbers.. Well, its going to be impossible to not deal with numbers, I graduated with a friggin accounting degree. Not my first choice, but I was indecisive then.. didn't know what was it that I want.. so, to be on the safe side.. I did what others told me to do.. the best choice.. and now.. sniff sniff.. look at me.. I am stuck with it.. If only I could turn back time..

Well, lets start dreaming a little bit.. if I could decide again, what would I have studied? Hmm.. still a very tuff question.. I would want something I can see me in it.. 'me' essence in my work.. making any sense? Something flexible and more spontaneous and not always by the books. I love reading and watching plays but can not be at the other end of it, that is writing or acting. Nope, not for me. Hmmm.. I really like crafty stuff, making cards, candles, flowers.. yada yada yada.. but how am I going to make a living out of it. Lost all creativity in me since I left highschool. I really like shopping.. which girl wouldn't? Anyway, being in the retail line would be cool or working for a fashion magazine.. To come to think of it, if I were given a chance to decide again, I have a feeling that I would still choose accounting.. its safe.. dammit

I keep telling I have to something about my career. I need change.. a big change.. a 180 degrees change of environment. Its scary to think about being where I am for the rest of my working days.. cause I am not fully motivated to work and I don't want to drag myself to work everyday. I want to wake up happy to go to work. Wonder if there is such a thing.. But what is scarier is taking that step to change..

Shall I still do auditing but overseas? Or maybe different line of auditing.. internal audit? Shall I venture into finance? Shall I just be an accountant sitting behind a desk? Shall I change to a totally different line of work like a fashion merchandiser or something? Can't, don't have the qualifications.. Shall I be a barista at Starbucks.. always wanted to do that. My three years is coming up and I have to decide.. there will be plenty of opportunities.. definitely.. but which one.. Dammit.. so much thinking to do!